My beautiful boy, What words can I use to say how broken I feel at your loss, how shattered my life has become, and how each morning is a struggle to just get out of bed and move forward each day of my life? Every time the phone rings I am sure it is you, I pray it would be you....then I pause, and fill up with the tears that have not stopped flowing since that day and the knowledge that you are forever gone. " Hi Mom, this is your son, I just called to say "I love you"...."....how many times did you leave me that same message, about a million? The pain will never subside, and I find I am missing you more as each day passes, each moment....and I hope you can forgive....I pray every day for our forgiveness of each other. Maybe the love we had WAS enough....all I know is that the pain is becoming more and more unbearable, and I cannot express this broken inside out hurt.....like an open wound run over with alcohol..... Tonight, faith is not enough, sleep is evasive, and you are omnipresent deep into my soul....my son, my devoted and true boy.....always loved, always to be mourned, til the day I join you....Mom